i don't know what i was talking about in this one mb
Have you ever been in a horrible situation before? Yeah, but have you ever thought about something stupid while in said horrible situation? Yeah
To ease my mind in a situation, I think. A lot. Not about what could happen, but what I could personally gain from it. I enjoy writing, so I always ask myself, "how would this benefit your already failing writing career?", and the answer is always "because I experienced something new, I could create a character based off of that."
I can't tell if it's a bad thing or not, because it really does help calm my mind. It makes me feel way better, would you understand if you were in my position? I've never wanted anything else as a career, other than to create and show off what I've created. Sometimes, it's sickening. I don't think about much other than things I like. Is that selfish? I don't know the answer to that question.
I always say that, yet I never project my experiences onto my own characters. I have a lot, and none of them are anything like me. They are all different in their own way, you could even say they're their own people, as if I'm not puppeteering them and their stories. It's strange, sort of?
I hear a lot of people say "your characters are fragments of you," but I don't think thats entirely true. While, yes, this could differ from creator to creator, however to me it's not true in the slightest. I don't want my characters to be like me, and I don't want to be like them either. I would hate to be them, like any other creator would hate to be their own characters. I want to write my characters as not parts of me, but as fragments of art itself. I don't think this makes sense, but that's fine by me; art isn't usually supposed to make sense, right?
I wish for people to connect my work to anything but me. To think "hey, this character of yours reminds me of a person or a song," rather than "hey, this character of yours reminds me of you." I'd hate to hear something like that. My works are their own individual people, living in their world that I have curated to suit them perfectly.